El Eight. The Ocho.

There once was a sly and cunning fox. His name was Heratio. He lived in a forest. A forest that was recently named "The Forest For Rest" (as some of you may know, eh?). Heratio was simply tired of living in this forest, so he decided to dress himself up in some nice fig leaf clothes and head onwards into town, YA!

The nearest town was was a 1700 day hike. But Heratio was willing to walk/crawl such an incredible distance. Do foxes walk or crawl? Cuz technically he has 4 legs, so wouldn't that be a crawl? Do you have to be really close to the grownd for it to be considered a crawl? Who knows. Maybe we'll just combine the two words to make a new word. Wawlk. Crawlk. Crawalk. I like Crawlk the best, so we'll go with that.

So Heratio crawlkt (past tense for crawlk) to the nearest city, which was actually not a city but a fortress, it was a castle, for it was medieval times. It took 1700 days, which translates into approximately 4.657534247 years. Or 40,800 days. Or 2,448,000 seconds. Or. Or 6 space seconds.

The truth in the matter is that Heratio had a time machine, so he just crawlkt himself into his time machine and punched it to 4.657534247 years ahead. And then he got there and realized that the time machine made him go forward in time, but it didn't get him any closer to the city. So he tried again, but got the same results.

Heratio became enfuriatedly enraged at the time machine, for it was useless, so he melted it down and ate it. Because foxes get their nourishment from liquid metal. Did you not know? I scoff at you.

Heratio crapped out the liquid metal and it formed itself into an airplane. An SR-71 Blackbird to be exact. He downloaded the software on how to fly a plane (just like in the Matrix) and instantly became an expert in the field of SR-71 Blackbird flying. This plane goes 2304 mph, so he got to the city in a quicker amount of time. In 1700 days you could walk 13,600 miles if you walked at a pace of 3 mph. If you are flying at 2304 mph, you would get there in 5.9 hours. Am I right? Prove me wrong.

Once Heratio got there, he crash landed at full speed into a herd of velociraptors. You would think that the velociraptors and the jet would instantly explode into a fiery ball of explosionness. But you thought wrong. Actually you thought right. That's exactly what happened. But somehow, one of the carcasses of a velociraptor formed a sort of cocoon around Heratio's body and protected him from being wounded. Actually he just pushed the eject button before he crashed. But the other story sounds better, yeah, bru, huh?

He parachuted to the ground and landed on top of the Taj Mahol. And then we went to the local McDonalds and ordered a veggiemac. Because Heratio decided he didn't want to eat meat right now, so he got a vegetarian friendly burger. And he smothered the burger in Barbecue sauce. And lettuce. And then he ate it.