So he was nuking san Fran Sisco and just before they were about to land, Superflan came to the rescue and saved the city. Superflan is like Superman, except Superflan doesn't wear those sick tights like Superman. Honestly, who wants to see a man with super powers in tights? Superflan wore nice baggy clothes. He caught up the nukes in his 32nd pocket on his right hind leg. And the nukes are allergic to baggy clothes, so the evaporated. Just like evaporated milk. Heratio loves evaporated milk, so he drank the nuke juice. It was delicious.
Superflan had a sidekick named Bobbin. Bobbin was actually a bobbin that was able to do human things. So like most humans, Bobbin smoked, ate, and drank excessively. Bobbin was American. So he also swore a lot and watched 30 hours of TV a day. Heratio's the beez neez, remember?, so Heratio retired Superflan and Bobbin. He retired them to Jupiter. And they died there, because there's no oxygen there. Heratio felt bad about sending them to Jupiter, so he invited them back, and then he found out that they died because of the slight lack of oxygen, so Heratio built a time machine in which he went back in time and then built a super fast space ship and went and got them and brought them back to the 5th rock from the sun (it's 5th now because 2 super transparent life sized planets were discovered between Mars and the other planet before it) but on the way back Heratio got tired of Superflan and Bobbin and he bludgeoned their facers in.
When he got home, he[ratio] came across a zit on his eyeball. It was 1/300th the size of the Mall of America. The Mall of America is roughly 140,000 square meters. Lets be conservative and say its only 6 meters tall. That puts the Mall of America at 840,000 cubic meters, which puts the zit on Heratio's eye at 2800 cubic meters, which translates to roughly 9000 cubic feet. I'm not sure if you know, but that's like the size of a house. I'm not kidding. Heratio had a house size zit on his eyeball. But it was really no matter, for he just sliced it off and ate it. When he got to the center, he discovered a life sized model of Bill Clinton in a speedo, blindfolded around the neck and sunburned so badly he was black. Burnt to a crisp. Heratio didn't eat bill.
But wait! Out from left field came an ALIEN! I'm not talking about a non US citizen. I'm talking about an ALIEN from outer space! OOO! Tingly feeling! He came with a legion of cockroaches. A legion is roughly 6,000 I believe. It might be 7,000. Either way, its a lot of icky critters. They came, they saw, they kicked ghost butt. Except there were no ghosts, only Heratio. And Heratio's the beez neez, so they really didn't do anything. But it was cool that Heratio got to see an ALIEN!
Here's picures of the Alien, Bill Clinton, and a pooping dog:
