Heratio the Fox: The 11nd

Once upon a time there was a fox who was sly and cunning. He was the size of a camel, and he was a slightly violent creature. This fox, named "Heratio" was always up to no good, causing death and despair, for people died everywhere he went. But Heratio wasn't always trouble. There was a day where Heratio was a well behaved, normal sized fox, who only did good things. Let me share how he became the vicious animal he is today...

One day, Heratio was frolicking through the fields. He was having a lovely afternoon with his best friend, Oitareh. Oitareh and Heratio were the bestest of fox friends, practically inseparable. The two did everything possible together. The day before this day, Heratio and Oitareh were down at the soup kitchen serving soup to the poor and the needy. After that they provided any medical care that the homeless or needy needed. They even did double bypass heart surgery on one of the homeless men! And it was all free of charge! Both Heratio and Oitareh had full time jobs, which they donated all of their money to their church and various organizations.

Then one day, whilst they were listening to the radio, a new type of music came on that they had ne'er heard before. They were torn on how to feel about this music. They were disgusted and intrigued, attracted and repelled. The song that was playing was "whiskey girl" by Toby Keith. Not knowing how to respond to this music, they simply listened more. They changed the radio to a station that played all of this type of music. They eventually figured out that it was called "country music." After about an hour of listening to this "country music" Heratio and Oitareh became ill. Their symptoms were: upset stomach, diarrhea, indigestion, tumors, bipolar disorder, fits of rage, deafness, blindness, swollen appendages, dry mouth, thoughts of baking cakes while brewing root beer, finger loss, cravings for brussel sprouts, and occasionally death. All these are terrible side effects of listening to country music, but thankfully Heratio and Oitareh didn't have all the side effects.

But there was one that destroyed them. Can you guess which one? Did you guess desire to eat one's own species? Well, you're wrong. Guess again. Did you guess fits of rage? Wrong again! Occasional death? Wrong. Bipolar disorder? Wrong again. Let me save you some time so you don't have to guess every single one. Because every single one of the side effects is wrong. They had a side effect that is very uncommon. So uncommon, in fact, that these two were the only ones to suffer from this terrible side effect of country music. The side effect they fell victim to was "desire to eat one's own species." This country music is dangerous, I tell you what. Obviously, since this series of short stories is about Heratio, we know who ate the other. Why do you think Heratio is the size of a camel? Because he ate his best friend, Oitareh. Don't you know that foxes cant digest other foxes? Oitareh is still inside Heratio, scratching away, trying to find his way out, but Heratio has a tough stomach, and will not permit Oitareh to excape, but Oitareh will keep trying forever and ever, and the reason Oitareh doesn't die is because he gets nourishment from the food that Heratio eats, so in a way Oitareh and Heratio are still best friends because they are in a symbiotic relationship, except Heratio doesn't really need Oitareh to survive, but Oitareh does help Heratio be big and scary and yeah.

Since that day, Heratio has been suffering from all the other side effects of country except death. Oitareh is too, he just had an imaginary tea party inside of Heratio's estomago with his friends, Francis, Bob, and Ungureaneau.

Now you know why Heratio is the way he is.